“I don’t think so,
Ben. If they want, they could cover their eyes and wait for the scary part to
be over.”
“Um… Josh… if their
eyes are covered, how will they know when the scary part’s over?”
“Hmm… maybe they
should get their parents.”
“Good thinking.”
“Thanks.”
“Certainly.”
“Any time.”
“Rose Red and Snow White!” Khan began in his monstrously
very-normal voice. “As employees of an evil system, we have been required to
evict you from these premises directly!”
“Oh dear!” Replied Snow White.
“Oh elk!” Replied Rose Red.
“No, their season isn’t for a few months yet.” Yacovarol
replied. “But regardless, we are here to see you off! Immediately! Now… can we
help you pack?”
The next two days were spent assisting the princesses pack
their belongings into condensed suitcases they could easily handle. Dorky, who
was on duty the next day, proved most helpful in this situation, advising the
princesses on which pieces would create the largest number of matching
combinations. The princesses, naturally, were very grateful.
After the rigorous packing, the princesses were escorted to
the edge of the forest, where Dorky took his leave.
“Very well, my ladies!” He said, bowing deeply, hat-in-hand,
“I wish you a very good vacation! Remember, the cottage is easily traced by
following the path; the pig you will find within is most hospitable. I hope you
return soon!”
And with that, he departed, whistling “The Old Goose’s
Gullet” as he skipped back to the castle. Upon his arrival, he was immediately
confronted by the Human Resources Manager, who was in a most vexed state.
“Huntsman!” He snorted, whilst waving the manual in the air.
“What is the meaning of this?”
“I haven’t a clue.” Dorky replied. “I’ve never read it
myself.”
“Huntsman, you were supposed to kill the princesses, not send them off on a summer vacation.”
“Hmm.” Dorky replied. “Well, my shift is almost over. I will
pass the instructions on to my brother. What token does she require to ensure
the job is done?”
“Her heart.” The Human Resources manager replied.
And so it was, the next day, Jack set out to carry out the
task. However, being the benevolent sort, he intended to fool the queen and
bring back the heart of a pig, and he knew just how to do it. Axe in hand, he
tramped through the forest to a spot he knew well – the lane of the three
cottages: one of straw, another of sticks, and another of brick. He stomped up
to the first door and called out:
“Little pig, little pig, let me come in!”
“Not by the – oh, never mind.” Came the reply. “I thought
you were a wolf. Please, enter!”
Despite the fact that Jack had not expected the pig to
speak, three spare-ribs and two frying pans of bacon later, Jack had retrieved
the heart and returned it to the queen. He also informed his brothers that
there was now a new, vacant cottage in the forest that they could use as a
hunting lodge. Dorky turned very pale.
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